Why am I still so mad...

Dawns Life

Why am I still so mad at Adam...its not that i'm mad its that i'm still very hurt by what Adam did. I know I should move on but its hard when you have no one to talk to about it except for Adam. Everytime I try to talk to some one..they always turn it into talking about themselves. So then it turns into listening to there problems and to hell with what i'm going through, it always turns out that way for me thats why I ended up on depression meds while Adam was deployed. I'm just so mad and hurt that he could just do something so stupid like this, didn't he think of what would happen to Aaron and me if he would of died! We would of had nothing and I would have been left alone to raise OUR child by myself. I think thats what makes me the maddest..is that he would of left me all alone to raise Aaron. I can't raise this little guy on my own..I need him here with me. Aaron needs him...Aaron loves his daddy so damn much I can't compete with that, I honestly think Aaron just puts up with me during the day until daddy gets home because he has too. How could he even be so selfish to do something like this and to think that I wouldn't care?? He says he thought we would be happier...hell how much more happier can one person be? How many other people do you know that is as happy as I am? Why shouldn't I be happy, I have a wonderful husband and beautiful child, we have a house over our head an Adam has a great job that takes care of our needs...what more does anyone need? And he thinks hes not a great role model for Aaron..oh please...hes a better role model for Aaron then his dad was ever for him! He needs to realize that Aaron loves him so much and hes a great daddy...he was so afraid of making the same mistakes and not having a good relationship with his son, but he needs to realize ONLY HE can change that!! I just don't understand how he can tell us he loves us so much but was willing to walk away from us that easy....It would take the good lord himself to take me away from my family!