Dawns Life
Well Aaron and I slept in! He got up at 0730 and had his milk then went right back to sleep until 0945!! Boy that was great...how hes in watching the backyardigans..he loves that show too and then blues clues are on after....Adam and I had a little talk yesterday but not enough to please me..we just don't get to talk enough, we either have Aaron or someone else comes and we have to stop what were doing. We just need some time alone but I can't seem to find us a baby sitter for the life of me, and I just won't trust anyone with my little guy. Tomorrow morning I have my Pampered Chef show in the morning and then we are all going into the city to go to Sams Club and out to dinner. It should be very nice for us to get out and have something nice. I guess we will get some free time when we go home since it doens't seem like were going to get it here since I can't find a baby sitter. This really sucks. This one girl who called wanted $30 for 4 hours of baby sitting and we just can't afford that. Geeze teenages are charging alot more these days to baby sit. I'm gonna go get Aaron ready to go to the commissary when daddy gets home for lunch..they are doing the first ever farmers market over there and I need some fruit for the party so I'm gonna go get some here in a bit. Well I'll write more later when I can!
Friday, August 12, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Thursday Morning......
well this morning is off to a slow start...my head is hurting so Aaron is sitting here watch Dora and playing with his toys. He sure loves his toys. Daddy bought him last ight a walking/riding toy and he just loves it..but hes not to sure about walking by himself just yet so hes just playing with it and hes having fun! as you can tell not alot going on today..hopefully this afternoon I feel better then we can go to play group...guess we will see. I need to get in and clean up the kitchen aswell plus make our shopping list so we will see. This is cool I see we can put pictures in here so I'm gonna post one of my little man..hnes such the love of my life ..oh thats so cool..a pic of our little man..ok well i'll write later Dora is ovedr and he wants to help type and I don't like him to touch the laptop so i'm gonna close...bye for now!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Tuesday!
Dawns Life
Well Baby..I know you can tell me over and over how sorry you are, and I believe you I'm just still very hurt and I will get over it but I won't ever forget what happened. I just need time to heal in my own way I guess just like you need time to find what your looking for.
Today was the farmers market, it was a slow night there...did one sale other than that it was very slow for both Connie and I. Aaron is still teething and its killing me...he cries so much I just wish these molers would just hurry up and come in for gods sake! I need my sanity...lol but yeah good luck on what mommy wants...lol Well my smart little man learned somehting new today...he learned how to turn the TV on with the remote! Daddy thinks it was on accident but I think my little genious is just to smart for his own good. So we will see if he can do it again at a later date....lol we need to prove daddy wrong!!!! LOL but Aaron is very smart and it gets him into trouble alot...I love watching him with Tabitha...he loves her so much its just to bad she didn't love him...lol I would love to get him his own kitten but I don't think Tabitha would allow that in her house! So I guess she will just have to put up with his tail pulling, his kisses, his rough petting, pulling of the ears, and chasing after her...lol just wait til he starts walking shes really in trouble then..I can't wait to see the look on her face when that happends...thats gonna be priceless..I remember her look when he figured out how to move in the walker..I think if looks could kill I would have been dead...lol boy will she be in for a big surprise...lol I love watching my little man discover new things...I fall more in love with him on a daily basis. Hes the best gift Adam could of ever given me!
Well Baby..I know you can tell me over and over how sorry you are, and I believe you I'm just still very hurt and I will get over it but I won't ever forget what happened. I just need time to heal in my own way I guess just like you need time to find what your looking for.
Today was the farmers market, it was a slow night there...did one sale other than that it was very slow for both Connie and I. Aaron is still teething and its killing me...he cries so much I just wish these molers would just hurry up and come in for gods sake! I need my sanity...lol but yeah good luck on what mommy wants...lol Well my smart little man learned somehting new today...he learned how to turn the TV on with the remote! Daddy thinks it was on accident but I think my little genious is just to smart for his own good. So we will see if he can do it again at a later date....lol we need to prove daddy wrong!!!! LOL but Aaron is very smart and it gets him into trouble alot...I love watching him with Tabitha...he loves her so much its just to bad she didn't love him...lol I would love to get him his own kitten but I don't think Tabitha would allow that in her house! So I guess she will just have to put up with his tail pulling, his kisses, his rough petting, pulling of the ears, and chasing after her...lol just wait til he starts walking shes really in trouble then..I can't wait to see the look on her face when that happends...thats gonna be priceless..I remember her look when he figured out how to move in the walker..I think if looks could kill I would have been dead...lol boy will she be in for a big surprise...lol I love watching my little man discover new things...I fall more in love with him on a daily basis. Hes the best gift Adam could of ever given me!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Why am I still so mad...
Dawns Life
Why am I still so mad at Adam...its not that i'm mad its that i'm still very hurt by what Adam did. I know I should move on but its hard when you have no one to talk to about it except for Adam. Everytime I try to talk to some one..they always turn it into talking about themselves. So then it turns into listening to there problems and to hell with what i'm going through, it always turns out that way for me thats why I ended up on depression meds while Adam was deployed. I'm just so mad and hurt that he could just do something so stupid like this, didn't he think of what would happen to Aaron and me if he would of died! We would of had nothing and I would have been left alone to raise OUR child by myself. I think thats what makes me the maddest..is that he would of left me all alone to raise Aaron. I can't raise this little guy on my own..I need him here with me. Aaron needs him...Aaron loves his daddy so damn much I can't compete with that, I honestly think Aaron just puts up with me during the day until daddy gets home because he has too. How could he even be so selfish to do something like this and to think that I wouldn't care?? He says he thought we would be happier...hell how much more happier can one person be? How many other people do you know that is as happy as I am? Why shouldn't I be happy, I have a wonderful husband and beautiful child, we have a house over our head an Adam has a great job that takes care of our needs...what more does anyone need? And he thinks hes not a great role model for Aaron..oh please...hes a better role model for Aaron then his dad was ever for him! He needs to realize that Aaron loves him so much and hes a great daddy...he was so afraid of making the same mistakes and not having a good relationship with his son, but he needs to realize ONLY HE can change that!! I just don't understand how he can tell us he loves us so much but was willing to walk away from us that easy....It would take the good lord himself to take me away from my family!
Why am I still so mad at Adam...its not that i'm mad its that i'm still very hurt by what Adam did. I know I should move on but its hard when you have no one to talk to about it except for Adam. Everytime I try to talk to some one..they always turn it into talking about themselves. So then it turns into listening to there problems and to hell with what i'm going through, it always turns out that way for me thats why I ended up on depression meds while Adam was deployed. I'm just so mad and hurt that he could just do something so stupid like this, didn't he think of what would happen to Aaron and me if he would of died! We would of had nothing and I would have been left alone to raise OUR child by myself. I think thats what makes me the maddest..is that he would of left me all alone to raise Aaron. I can't raise this little guy on my own..I need him here with me. Aaron needs him...Aaron loves his daddy so damn much I can't compete with that, I honestly think Aaron just puts up with me during the day until daddy gets home because he has too. How could he even be so selfish to do something like this and to think that I wouldn't care?? He says he thought we would be happier...hell how much more happier can one person be? How many other people do you know that is as happy as I am? Why shouldn't I be happy, I have a wonderful husband and beautiful child, we have a house over our head an Adam has a great job that takes care of our needs...what more does anyone need? And he thinks hes not a great role model for Aaron..oh please...hes a better role model for Aaron then his dad was ever for him! He needs to realize that Aaron loves him so much and hes a great daddy...he was so afraid of making the same mistakes and not having a good relationship with his son, but he needs to realize ONLY HE can change that!! I just don't understand how he can tell us he loves us so much but was willing to walk away from us that easy....It would take the good lord himself to take me away from my family!
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